Me: Yeah no worries but I'll probably be a bit late as public transport is slow on weekends.Īn employee asks his boss, "Can I have two weeks off for Christmas?" His boss replied, "It's May.", to which the employee responded, Not because of my calculation skills but because I go to sleep when left unattended for 15 minutes. The new employee replied, “Quick ones.”īoss: This is the third time you've been late for work this week. “And what steps do you take in case of a fire?” she asked. When opportunity knocks, he complains about the noise.Ī human resource person was quizzing a new employee on the company’s safety manual. Some would say that I nailed it.Ī supervisor’s comment on an employee evaluation. Hey Boss, I hung a picture up on the wall the other day. Hey Boss, what’s the flower business when it’s going really well? Blooming. Job Applicant: Sir your search ends here! In my previous job whenever something went wrong, everybody said I was responsible.īoss: Do you believe in life after death?Įmployee: No, because there is no proof of it.īoss: Well there is now! After you left yesterday saying that you had to go to your grandma's funeral, she called the office looking for you. I have a joke on my boss, but let me first overwork myself.Įmployer: We need someone responsible for the job. My boss asked me how good I was at making spreadsheets. My boss asked me to start the presentation with a joke. What kind of bow can’t be tied? A rainbow. Why do golfers take an extra pair of socks? In case they get a hole in one. I told my boss that three companies were after me and I need a raise….Įverything was great until I needed to use the bathroom. How does NASA organize a party? They planet. Hey Boss, why did the employee get fired from the calendar factory? They took a day off. What is the best way to criticize your boss? Recommended Article: 6 Ways Managers Can Build A Fun At Work Culture Jokes For Your Boss My friends think I'm a magician when I make chocolate disappear.īut little do they know, I've got a few Twix up my sleeve.ĭo you know where you can get chicken broth in bulk? What time is it when the town's most beloved knight is gone? "you'll just have to learn to be a little patient" Now matter how much you push the envelope.Ī man rushed into a Doctor's surgery, shouting "help me please, I'm shrinking" The Doctor calmly said, "now settle down a bit". What do you call a lion who is feeling dandy? My friend Phillip had his lip removed last week What do you call Batman and Robin after a steamroller went over them?ĭid you hear about that actress that stabbed herself? Reece… Hey Europe, you look like you’ve lost some POUNDS. Why was the scarecrow awarded a Nobel prize? What do you do if you get the bird flu? Tweetment. What's the difference between in-laws and outlaws? What happened when the pirate attempted to recite the alphabet? What did the pirate say when he turned 80 years old? It’s hard to explain puns to kleptomaniacs because they always take things literally. A Mexican magician says he will disappear on the count of 3.
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